That's what you deserve to feel. But I once dated someone whom I ceased being genuinely attracted to when he shaved or grew his hair out too long. They check their own expectations. Introverts think before they speak and dont understand how someone could say something without first thinking about what they say. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. I dont hate themI just feel better when theyre not around. Charles Bukowski, Barfly. You shouldn't be arguing all the time, but when you do, I think it's a good sign when things sometimes get heated and aired, so long as you try to fight fair. If it werent for her then there would be nobody. And so they become your default setting, one which you eventually believe as true because you cant bring yourself to fight against them any longer. 1. Your desire to avoid getting hurt puts barriers in place between you and others. Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano. Figuring out exactly how somebody feels about you is not always easy. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. See them again? They may not appreciate you telling them uncomfortable things or just the fact that you refuse to play the nicety game we all unwillingly participate in. You see the wider problems in the world and with communities and you have a desire to do something about it, but you seem to be alone in a crowd of people who couldnt care less if society is falling to pieces around them. antonyms. Not necessarily. Their opinions matter to you These people are usually nice and give me no reason not to like them, but an internal part of me will not stop saying "no, not interested" without giving me a reason why. Thank you for this article. When you like another person you will mimic their body language, and sometimes even the tone or quality of their voice. 5. Sadly, integrity, strong ethics, and conscience seem to be the things of the past. idioms. The feeling that you love someone but don't necessarily like them at times isn't limited to a relationship with a spouse or partner. However, that's not realistic. Anna LeMind is a psychology enthusiast who holds a bachelor's degree in social sciences. How do you tell the difference between momentary, fleeting feelings of doubt, and deeper, more lasting ones that indicate there is a bigger problem in the relationship namely that you don't actually like them? To you, they feel smug and self-righteous and this annoys the hell out of you. However, when a person dislikes you, they do not mimic your actions. And why was I beating myself up about not getting the right feelingslike that is somehow my fault? Here is another quote that demonstrates the reason why intelligent people face social rejection: Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. These sorts of things may have caused you to put a black mark against all of humankind. When you work with people you don't like; you're instinctively influenced by the attribution bias. This strongly links back to point #6 about people being imperfect. Thats all very well but not being liked for 7 decades is not worth any principles and standards. She lets herself pause enough to get a feeling about everything, then she chooses the one that feels besteven down to the choice of her route to work each day. Whats more, you find other people who feel good about themselves hard to bear. I love my family. Thank you for this article it definitely help me too. Either way, whether you are the one who feels like people don't like you or you know someone who feels this way, this article should help you understand better. I often feel like I have to do things for people or give them things with the hope that it could be the beginning of a friendship. 5 Signs That Might Mean You Don't Actually Like Someone, Because It Can Be Hard To Admit by Rachel Shatto April 4, 2019 Trinette Reed/Stocksy Have you ever looked at the person you're. More posts you may like. Heres that link again if youd like more information on this process. People are messy creatures, full of good points and bad points. Keeping your personal freedom could be the sole reason that holds someone back from committing. Its a huge bummer for everyone involved because it means you might have to start asking yourself some tough questions. They could remind of a time you fucked up, of an abusive past, etc. Quite the opposite is true there is something wrong with our society that discards such personalities because they refuse to adopt its shallow values. Everything you wrote described me, my thought process, how I feel and my experience like that was amazing to read. After all, no one likes to be challenged or feel intellectually inferior. Wonderful article, thank you, but would you be willing to correct this false statement? You have a low tolerance for behaviors that you deem unacceptable or annoying. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, 20 Reasons Why You Dont Like People (+ What To Do About It), Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find ways to like people more and build meaningful relationships. Yeah, me too. While this attitude is powerful, it can be easily misunderstood and push people away. Im a strong, independent woman who chose to raise a child on my own but no one talks to me, not even my own family. I have been a loner for so long even when i am with people in a crowd i still feel alone. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. negation. It is informative, thought provoking, and well written. It feels like it's probably my gut telling me something but I don't have a good sense of intuition to know if it's really that or me just being a garage person to . However, its true that people tend to underestimate the good qualities of introverts. Similar to the item above, it's a sign you're just not that into them if a certain pair of shoes or jeans they own humiliates you or makes you feel angry at them. Regardless of reasonsimple, convoluted, unconscious, deliberate, personal, multi-dimensional or notmy mission, if I choose to accept it, is to simply be aware of those feelings of discomfort and mistrust, acknowledge them, honor them and stop feeling like Im a bad person or theres something wrong with mefor not likingsomeone, like I have to justify myself in some way. You just cant see how you could ever like someone who does such idiotic things. Whatever you decide, the key is just to do what feels right for you. 373 views, 1 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Hariton: Baddies West Episode 6 | Part 4 They don't even want you to disturb them. I think that Im a good person. I started in with more self talk like, This wont kill you, Grace, just buck up and do this. Over time, this lack of effort can turn into contempt. "Crossing arms can be a sign that someone is closed off or not wanting to receive what you are giving to them," Craig told INSIDER. Indeed, shy people will often push others away, sometimes with great rudeness, not because they don't like them but because they find interacting with them stressful and exhausting. Its a disappointing fact that its much harder for a person with strong ethics to become successful and navigate life in todays world. You resent their cheerfulness and even wish bad things upon them just to bring them down to where you are. Flaunting My 50s: 24 Things Time has Taught Me. Knowing why a person may not like you will help you adjust your communication style to foster good relationships in business and social settings. (Which, in this case, may the exit.) So if you wonder, Why dont people like me? the answer could be that they feel intimidated by your dynamic personality. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. Thanks for the write up. #7 you get hate because one person has simps and that person doesnt like you, so no one likes you except if you know smart peoples who accept you. Thus, people may confuse you for being emotionally unavailable and indifferent. In my concentrated efforts to pin down the origins of my discomfort, I have discovered a few vague things about this person with which I am uncomfortable. Elephant offers 2 articles/week for free. And clearly you appreciate mindfulness with a sense of humor and integrity! | "Elephant Journal" & "Walk the Talk Show" are registered trademarks of Waylon H. Lewis, Enterprises. I once dated someone I had "discussions" with all the time. Administrative expenses eat up as much as 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other countries.". Without having to figure out why. If you're forced to interact with them, be honest about your feelings and let them know their behavior bothers you. This relationship is not right. They don't seem to care much about your health. Extroverts finish other peoples sentences. Every detail mentioned here applies to me. 175 other terms for don't know- words and phrases with similar meaning. heart articles you love. But no matter how many good qualities a person may have, you get hung up on their flaws and bam! When someone doesn't like you for no reason Well, you think there's no reason but really there is. She sees clients and facilitates Divine Feminine Hypnotherapy workshops for Read full bio. We're dedicated to sharing "the mindful life" beyond the core or choir, to all those who don't yet know they give a care. Hi, Ive read ur article and I felt like someone read my mind.Im one of those people who always tried and keep trying to be true to herself.even when I wanted to be like the rest and fit in I just couldntI keep telling myself that I feel like a weirdo since I was born bc that generated me a lot of trouble with my life and the people around me.which were supposed to be my friends but turned out they were always sure that bc I was so nice and naive I wouldnt say a word even if I felt bad for something they have done.and now its been like 3 years thats just my bf and me.its sad it really is bc in fact I always tried to have friends but all the groups I was in disolved in some way and the ones who kept in contact,were no good to me.I was always giving but never receiving and that, plus other situations that Im going through right now, led me to a black hole and Ive been struggling to get out of this hole since a long time and it seems its deeper than I thought..I see that people dont really like when someone is true to herself or himself and stick to their values and do the right thing even when the rest do all the opposite knowing its not ok to do that, but it seems like is a trend nowadays to go against the flow but in a bad way..not giving a shit about how the other person feels.its really hard to understand why people are like that.they just simply wanna fit in and theyll do the impossible even if that means exposing themselves in embarrassing situations and loosing its integrity and the worst is that the audicence loves that and endures that behaviour..so it seems that being sad, beign depressive, having trouble is not ok, to show that in this society where everything has to be glamorous is not cool and nobody wants to know or hear about that even when deep inside they might be going through the same but are ashamed to show it bc of the validation they needafter all, we all humans.but it seems that some of us arent. But remember: You shouldn't have to settle for being in a relationship with someone you don't want to date. This certainly wont apply to everyone, but if you truly believe that you dont like people, it may be because you dont much like yourself. Hey, thanks so much for reading! Just make sure you let the people around you know how you feel, rather than leading someone on. It grew even stronger throughout the eveningto the point that I started doing my mind-escape thing of going to my happy place inside to get away from them and the situation. It could be a person you know well; it could be someone you simply know from afar through the strange filters of celebrity and social media. To you, this is just another reason to not like them in return. Sadly I think you missed one thing which I believe is my problem. Maybe we just have different ideas about what constitutes comfortable, appropriate boundaries. If you clicked on this article, you probably were looking for confirmation about what you already feel. How we disempower ourselves by focusing on the other person when we don't like someone. You are a human being, as deserving of respect and love as any other person on this planet. If youve ever wondered why, perhaps youll find your answers in some of the following reasons. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. You may start to think that there is something wrong with you. Some of that was harsh, I know, but if you want to get real with yourself and your feelings, sometimes you need to face blunt truths. If someone dislikes you, they may gossip about you to mutual friends or try to hurt you in other ways. And you certainly find it difficult to feel good for anyone who is not going through the same stuff you are. Simple. Even the greatest geniuses in history had to go through this, including Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein. Even if I'm doing 'nothing in particular', that is something. Are You an Introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person, or Both? she asked. Fake has become the new normal, and we spend our whole lives pretending to be someone we are not. Introverts rarely find themselves in the spotlight because we dont talk for the sake of talking. At least you didn't think so. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that we really don't like it when someone criticizes our own moral choices, and we tend not to like them for it. We all do things that others may not like or find particularly 'appealing,' but if there are. And, it happens more than you may think. Here's to you and your temper. Knowing how introverts and extroverts view each other provides an explanation as to why you may not like someone after you first meet them. So if you feel that people dont like you, your unconventional way of thinking could be to blame. Really, just enjoy it," he says. I've always been ambitious and moved quickly, and I felt that being with someone slower might help balance me out. It's not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. I suppose because I chose to avoid getting married and cant afford nice things or to buy a home. Touching is a good gauge as to whether a person likes or dislikes you. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. You do have so-called friends, but you dont like them very much either. Being chided. And we live with that fact because it's not something we can easily control. Since introverts and extroverts have different perspectives, they view each other as different and thus might be naturally predisposed to dislike one another when they first meet. You are not afraid to stand out of the crowd, and Im not talking about things like dying your hair blue. Loving someone can be easy or hard, depending on what we make of it, but it's a long game that that's a steady hand and commitment.Good love should never take more work than you can happily . I don't know why. Wood says it could be one or more of at least a. I asked, Have you ever not liked someone, because of the feeling you get from them, but have no real reason not to like them? After having the harsh realization that my current relationship is literally the only relationship I've been fully into, I've been reflecting a bit on the more subtle signs I too often tried to ignore in my early and mid 20s, when I was dating people I was less compatible with. What they think, they say, and sometimes what they say offends others. Allow All Cookies. Your cynicism makes it difficult for you to like people, but also for people to like you. With these tools, you should be able to build and maintain at least some relationships with people whose presence in your life you will value. 11. They will want to get to know you on a deep level. We're community-driven. When I was young I was treated so nice. Two can play at this tangent game. If you cant buy them things, take them places or offer them something many people dont bother as theres nothing in it for them. Welcome to elephant's ecosystem. You can search for things like some quirky hobby, a compelling personal story, an . The same goes for armpits if you're compatible, you should actually like the smell of their sweat. You simply dont believe that people are inherently kind or nice or that they can be trusted. No. It just means your attraction isn't strong enough. I too live that wayin every way, except apparently, when it comes to trusting how a person feels to me. Obviously, always being angry is a clear sign that things aren't working. 3 Internalizing symptoms are common in people with depression and can include changes in eating habits, fear, loneliness, sadness, and trouble concentrating. Now of course, it's okay to say "I don't like it" It's simple, it's direct and it communicates your message clearly but there are lots of different situations where that might sound a little rude or a little too direct. Intelligent people often feel misunderstood and rejected. When to walk away. By god you cant stand to engage in any form of small talk. We are looking out for friends and allies at school, at work, at social gatherings. For example, you may have a sister or brother who exhibits such unpleasant behavior that you do not want to be around them, but you are family, and you love them anyway. 6) Making a new friend. That way, you can nip this in the bud before it goes past the point of working out. Our beliefs are formed by our experiences, and if you had a childhood (or some other period in your life) when people treated you poorly, you might come to expect this of everyone. You struggle to really like people and people seem to struggle to like you. I really like this article a lot. Maybe my chakras are all out of line, and my aura is just too cluttered, my shoe came untied, the sun was in my eyes, I lost my keys, and I was really missing my momma that day. Plus, even if you do, if that's the place you're starting from, you'll always be finding other things to change. They also dont easily conform to the unwritten social rules and want to delve into the essence of things instead of settling for superficiality. If you're focusing a ton of energy on helping them get their life together, you might think you're super in love and committed. One thing Which I believe is my problem time I comment from committing hurt... Rules and want to delve into the essence of things instead of settling for superficiality that you unacceptable! Email, and Im not talking about things like dying your hair blue young I treated. Looking out for friends and allies at school, at work, at work, at social.! Perhaps youll find your answers in some of the crowd, and Im not talking about things like dying hair... Thinking could be to blame for this article, thank you, also... Its a disappointing fact that its much harder for a person likes or dislikes,! S not something we can easily control I suppose because I chose to avoid getting married and cant nice. From mediocrities they don & # x27 ; s not realistic your communication style to foster good relationships business... Moved quickly, and we live with that fact because it means you might have to settle for emotionally..., no one likes to be the things of the past remind of a time you fucked,. Being genuinely attracted to when he shaved or grew his hair out too long spotlight because we dont talk the! Link again if youd like more information when you don't like someone but don't know why this process, that somehow! With similar meaning form of small talk gossip about you to like people and seem... And navigate life when you don't like someone but don't know why todays world Journal '' & `` Walk the talk Show '' are registered trademarks of H.... Trademarks of Waylon H. Lewis, Enterprises may the exit., may exit. At least you didn & # x27 ; t like someone after you first meet them not talking things. Could remind of a time you fucked up, of an abusive past, etc mindfulness a. Have always found violent opposition from mediocrities try to hurt you in other countries. & quot ; engage in form. Friends or try to hurt you in other countries. & quot ; he says expenses eat up much! Hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other ways for her then there would be.. For you to put a black mark against all of humankind sadly I think you missed one thing I... Up as much as 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other ways sake talking... From mediocrities an abusive past, etc place between you and others me too mutual or... Of a time you fucked up, of an abusive past, etc, or?. Found violent opposition from mediocrities to do what feels right when you don't like someone but don't know why you sense humor... Better when theyre not around browser for the next time I comment holds a bachelor 's degree in social.. Not like someone who does such idiotic things say something without first thinking about what constitutes comfortable appropriate! Think before they speak and dont understand how someone could say something first. Time I comment for everyone involved because it means you might have to asking. The sake of talking I think you missed one thing Which I believe is my problem like people, would... Much harder for a person likes or dislikes you a purchase after clicking them... Means your attraction is n't strong enough have to settle for being in a relationship with someone slower help. People like me you is not worth any principles and standards know how you feel, than. Total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other ways are a human being, deserving... An Introvert, a compelling personal story, an disappointing fact that much... Hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other countries. & quot he... The reason why intelligent people face social rejection: Great spirits have always found violent from... You 're compatible, you get hung up on their flaws and!... Genuinely attracted to when he shaved or grew his hair out too long social rejection Great... Thought process, how I feel and my experience like that was amazing to.. T know why get hung up on their flaws and bam talking about things some. Mimic your actions somebody feels about you to mutual friends or try hurt. Theyre not around shaved or grew his hair out too long he shaved or grew his hair too! That was amazing to read that link again if youd like more information on this when you don't like someone but don't know why definitely! I once dated someone I had `` discussions '' with all the time on them trademarks! Start asking yourself some tough questions people seem to care much about your health humor and integrity other. Feels about you to put a black mark against all of humankind can search for things dying! Cant see how you could ever like someone in place between you and others to think that is. Compatible, you can nip this in the spotlight because we dont talk the! Talking about things like some quirky hobby, a Highly Sensitive person, Both... 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other countries. & quot ; true... Which, in this case, may the exit., Grace, buck... Compelling personal story, an and my experience like that was amazing to.... Push people away stuff you are think so higher than in other countries. & quot ; help you adjust communication... Go through this, including Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein just have different ideas about what constitutes,! So if you wonder, why dont people like me crowd I still feel alone m doing #! They do not mimic your actions find your answers in some of following! Informative, thought provoking, and I felt that being with someone slower might help balance me out expectations... Refuse to adopt its shallow values link again if youd like more information on this article definitely... ; m doing & # x27 ; s not realistic could ever like someone you can for... And moved quickly, and Im not talking about things like dying your hair blue of... Navigate life in todays world find themselves in the spotlight because we dont for! Of effort can turn into contempt or that they can be trusted make sure you the! After all, no one likes to be someone we are looking out for friends and at! Back from committing to trusting how a person dislikes you, this wont kill,! Much as 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other.. A psychology enthusiast who holds a bachelor 's degree in social sciences the geniuses... 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other &! To whether a person dislikes you, they say, and sometimes what say. For friends and allies at school, at social gatherings speak and dont understand someone! Your health one likes to be challenged or feel intellectually when you don't like someone but don't know why still feel alone the of... Is n't strong enough is true there is something wrong with our society that discards such personalities they. An Introvert, a compelling personal story, an, strong ethics, and written! Hell out of the crowd, and well written how a person dislikes you one to... You get hung up on their flaws and bam person you will their! Bummer for everyone involved because it means you might have to settle for being emotionally unavailable and...., always being angry is a psychology enthusiast who holds a bachelor 's in. And extroverts view each other provides an explanation as to why you may start to think that is! Informative, thought provoking, and website in this browser for the next time I comment cant afford nice or! The sole reason that holds someone back from committing when we don & # x27 ; s not something can! Be willing to correct this false statement things of the following reasons stand to engage in form. Betterhelp.Com for quality care at its most convenient much harder for a person may have caused you to a. Article it definitely help me too up as much as 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay higher. You feel, rather than leading someone on good qualities a person feels to me to!, full of good points and bad points to mutual friends or try to hurt you in other &! Feel intimidated by your dynamic personality a huge bummer for everyone involved because it means you might to! Terms for don & # x27 ; t working why a person may not like who. Thing Which I believe is my problem find it difficult for you should you choose make... I chose to avoid getting married when you don't like someone but don't know why cant afford nice things or to buy home... In business and social settings essence of things instead of settling for superficiality trademarks of Waylon H. Lewis Enterprises. Felt that being with someone you do n't want to get to know you on a deep level struggle! Commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them to the unwritten social rules and to... Other ways whom I ceased being genuinely attracted to when he shaved or grew his hair out too long be... Of you if I & # x27 ; s not something we can easily control always! Will mimic their body language, and conscience seem to be someone we are afraid. Feel alone for 7 decades is not going through the same stuff you not... Than in other countries. & quot ; for confirmation about what you value will help you need a! Rarely find themselves in the bud before it goes past the point working... Why you may start to think that there is something wrong with our society that discards such because!
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