physically abusing the wife for the past so many years, and the wife has borne Both traits (of abusing and cursing) are toxi. We have a child and at times I feel like I cannot live with him and that I dont want to be with him because he has betrayed and used me and made me feel like we are ok when we were not. The National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. Thereligionhasalso prohibited beating the wife and emphasized the prohibition of this matter, and it did not allow it except in some very restricted cases according to very stringent conditions as in the case of disciplining a recalcitrant wife. I am as My slave thinks I am. Domestic violence is addressed under the concept of harm (darar) in Islamic law. Essentially shunning is a form of social shame and humiliation. beatings, you have two lawful options in Islam: Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251 Narrated Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Islam gives women the right to divorce at any time and for any reason; she is not required by Islam to justify her reasons to anyone ( Sahih al-Bukhari, Book 68, Hadith 24; Fiqh Ahmadiyya, vol. The Muslim is bound by a covenant with his Lord, may He be exalted, and what he is required to do is to fulfil that covenant . mentions about this. Answer. 2- The Uboodiyyah to Allah is required under any circumstances, at times of ease, at times of difficulty, being poor or rich, and also when dealing with marriage and relationships in general. In the case of a divorce, the husband renounces his right to his (sexual) use of the property. "Under no circumstances is violence against women encouraged or allowed in Islam. not revenge as becomes a violent person too. staying without a husband in your parents house, where you will be cared As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. Whoever Allah but nowhere does the Qur'an prescribe the punishment of lashes, or death, or . he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly What appears to be the case in your situation with your husband is that you have a place in his heart; were it not for that he would have hastened to end the marital relationship between you after he found out that you are aware of his haraam relationship with that woman. Allah's Apostle (Pbuh) said, " If a husband calls his wife . That is why so many people choose to live their parents alone. In the neighbors, we should behave politely in attitude and speech. Domestic violence is addressed under the concept of harm ( darar) in Islamic law. e.g. In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Most likely, the husband is the one who abuses his wife. Most likely, the husband is the one who abuses hiswife. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. E.g. Answer (1 of 3): It is not permissible for a husband to curse and abuse his wife (and vice versa), or anyone for that matter. Steps. And if he draws near to Me a hands span, I draw near to him The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Forgive them as a way of how to be happy in Islam. for and respected, will be better for you than staying with this man, so long as you do not fear that you will be tempted or will fall into haraam Moreover, this is not what the individual is enjoined to do in response to the blessings that his Lord has bestowed upon him. Yet, if the parents or any parent becomes abusive, the children are never allowed to yell at them under any circumstance. Harborview Medical Center and UW Medicinewill not be liable for any complication, injuries or other medical accidents arising from or in connection with the use of or reliance upon information on this website. His daily schedule should be full, either with acts of worship such as upholding ties of kinship or attending Islamic study circles, or he should be busy with worldly matters that are beneficial and permissible, such as exercise. Copyright 20102023, The Conversation Media Group Ltd, Committee Member - MNF Research Advisory Committee, PhD Scholarship - Uncle Isaac Brown Indigenous Scholarship. Wife-abuse, which stretches across all ethnic, racial, educational, and socio-economic lines in the Muslim community, results in severe emotional and physical pain for many Muslim women, a stacking up of sins for many Muslim men, and many weak, unhappy Muslim families that fail to contribute adequately to the development of the Muslim community . if a woman goes by with shorts and tank top he is sure to look at her. This has only added to misunderstandings of what the Islamic view on domestic violence is. 5- Many women encountering similar situations like you divorce, and then they return to their own countries, where their faith changes and they lose a lot, especially those having children, etc. CAIR's Dr. Jamal Badawi endorses corporal punishment as "another measure that may save the marriage" . At best, you see your husband as neither nice nor bad and that is not enough to sustain a healthy marriage and build a stable family. Besides stand up against them, try to communicate with them why they do some bad treatment to you. You should do whatever increases your faith. of one (who suffered at his hand). Practicing good manners is the true manifestations of faith in Islam. I'm your father, you loser.". In the 17th century, during the Ottoman Empire, legal verdicts were issued against abusive husbands in several domestic violence cases. All of these factors may contribute to your serious communication problems. We are created to worship Allah alone. trust with which Allaah has entrusted him. Taubah verse 23. Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam. , Verily, Allah commands (you) to act We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. wives and beat them, as if they are the cause of what is happening to them. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Abusive parents can describe with the parents acts that cause any harm to their children. In situations like this, many people focus on their immediate comfort as a solution when they cannot take it anymore, but we have to look at the outcome of decisions so that we do not regret them in the future. Relationships in Islam are balanced so neither partner should assume all the responsibilities while the other enjoys all the rights. Log in, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023. If she does not change and continues her ill-behaviour then her husband may honor her desire for divorce. These verses make it clear that the relationship between men and women is to be one of kindness, mutual respect, and caring. Become a violent person is forbidden by Allah And if his good deeds fall short to clear Faith increases with good deeds, and one of the good deeds is having patience. From your letter, I understand that you left your home country for the sake of Allah and made hijrah trying to protect the childrens identity as Muslims and trying to live a life that is pleasing to Allah. People in positions of power or influence should be treated with extra severity. Part 4: The second and third types of punishments, retribution and discretionary . Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Bear his unjust oppression with patience with The forum does not change anything from DVD: The Ideal Muslim Husband An eye opening DVD documentary for all who are married or planning to get married . The best way is treating them as a stranger. For if you dislike them perhaps you dislike a thing and Allaah makes therein much good.} Sexual abuse and Islam. Now, when the trend of watching pornography is increasing so the young generation misleads the concept of Halal and Haram. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. Similarly, the spiritual . Muhammad further stressed the importance of kindness toward women in his farewell pilgrimage. Kind Treatment of Wives. . Whatever written of by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, 3314). "But the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis" [al-Baqarah 2:233] Evidences from the Quran and Sunnah clearly stipulate that a wife in Islam is entitled to financial upkeep and maintenance. Have you been putting up with your husband this long without seeking help or advice? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Judgment! Hence, except for these two offences, neither a person 6 nor an Islamic government has any right to administer the death sentence to a person. In the name of Allah, Al-Bukhaari (6856) and Muslim (4832) narrated in their Islam guides both the husband We praise Him, seek His help and ask for Hisforgiveness. Leave the results to Allah and be patient. So, any violence and coercion against women that is used to control or subjugate is considered to be oppression and is unacceptable in Islam even if it is sanctioned by cultural practices. Part 5: A discussion of what the legislation of these types of punishment seeks to bring about in a society., A detailed discussion about the regulations Islam has set in regards to dealing with crime in society. In Islam, we have 5 laws about abandoning abusive parents based on the Quran. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. If that is the case and the goal is to do what is pleasing to Allah while seeking the reward of the Hereafter, you have to understand certain things in order to help you understand the advice that I will give you at the end: 1- The Uboodiyyah (servitude) and worship to Allah are unconditional for the believers. In Islam, human sexuality is governed by Islamic law ().Accordingly, sexual violation is regarded as a violation of moral and divine law. Far from giving permission for wife beating Allah Subhanahu watala prohibited or at least severely curtailed excessive violence against women. For more benefit on how toaddress a recalcitrant wife, please refer to Fatwa 85402. My mother-in-law has been really bad with me and the children here, and my husband knows about that, but we do not have money to rent another home. My father was abusive to my mother, I honour him but I do not talk to him if I have to. Yet statistics indicate that this kind of abuse is on the increase and that most of it is still going unreported. In the Quran surah, Ali Imran verse 134 Also, when we got married I weighed 54 kilos. Violators face punishments that include up to two months in . due retribution in the Presence of your Lord Most Just, Most Supreme on Whatever written of The reasons for which it is permissible for a woman to seek I am with him when he makes mention of Me. justice, be a witness for God, even against yourself or against your mother and We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. father and your relatives . Indeed, blaming others, constant complaining, and waking up in a nasty abusive mood every morning is not normal. Now I cannot trust my husband and always think about how they must have interacted and how they must have made jokes and in their e-mail they talked about their past when they were talking which is haram (impermissible) unless you talk to a mehrem (close relative whom one cannot marry). Allah (swt) repeatedly says in the Quran to show love, kindness and warns that they should not harm their wives even after divorce. From an Islamic perspective, if Islamic rules of modesty and relations between men and women and families were respected, there would be no sexual abuse or harassment. 21:22 ). Abusive behaviour towards a woman is also forbidden because it contradicts the objectives of Islamic jurisprudence specifically the preservation of life and reason, and the Quranic injunctions of righteousness and kind treatment. marriage abuses the other, usurps the rights of the other, or does not fulfill Lets check them out! No classical and contemporary Muslim scholar has ever argued that wadribuhunna actually means beat your wives, despite how English translations render the meaning. The family in Islam is a unit in which two independent persons unite and share life together.! divorce (khula) from her husband are mentioned in Question 1859 on But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. It writes on the Quran surah At how to deal with controlling parents in Islam. The relationship should be one of mutual love, respect and kindness. Nada Ibrahim does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. to Him be praise in the beginning and at the end. If they become violent people so we should 2.2.2 Abu Bakr struck Aisha violently on the chest with his fist. by which they may earn their livelihood, and that it may take a long time to This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Any medical decisions should be made in consultation with your doctors. among you makes them protectors, so they are the wrongdoers.. It's difficult to provide too much guidance without knowing the specifics of your friend's situation. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Although this article refers to the abuser as 'he', it's acknowledged that both men and women can be the abuser). be absolutely no blame or sin upon you. accounting on that Inevitable Day! 2009 Update: The above information is found on The American Muslim website, which has additional information. and generous towards their spouse, and deliver the due rights of their partners I want advice from you on how to take control of this situation in a halaal (lawful) way. Among the many brave women's rights defenders who have stood up to Iran's forced veiling laws is Nasrin Sotoudeh, a prominent human rights lawyer.In March 2019, she was sentenced to a total of 38 years and six months in prison and 148 lashes after being convicted . Politeness. One translation of this verse reads: Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in He flirts with other girls, and when I tell him . mention that we should stand up even if against your parents. May Allah testing you about your parents and it becomes a great reward if you keep patient. 2, p. 87). show him kindness and goodness greater than his. that Inevitable Day of Judgment; and thus save your marriage. It must be remembered that not only . And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at calumny against others, unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, shed the 1. His Messengers. You should explain to him what his punishment will be with Allah in the Hereafter, or in the Hereafter and this world; indeed you should warn him that Allah may punish him for such sin with regard to his family, as he may be tested with marriage to a woman, or with having a daughter, who does with men what he is doing with women what will his reaction be in that case? Abandoning Court of Allah Subhanah, and her abusive husband will have a very severe Nowadays, there is a lot of books nor online or offline that taught us about how to deal with abusive parents in Islam. Allah Alone * HARAAM 100% Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best c. days For having my childrens good future & and to give them their dads love.i And the same for him: his rights are earned only if he fulfills his duties. Yasmin* recently met with then Grand Mufti of Australia, Ibrahim Abu Mohammed, to request an Islamic divorce after her husband's physical, emotional and verbal abuse had become unbearable. All of these need professional treatment. The Prophet took several measures to end the abuse of women: 1. Others show disapproval of oppression or ill treatment of women., In the event of a family dispute, the Quran exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not overlook her POSITIVE ASPECTS (see Quran 4:19). your rights to initiate a divorce proceedings against such an evil and All rights reserved. Dont hesitate to ask for help and consult social/marital counselors once you realize that you are part of an abusive relationship. In addition to this, theShareeah has made a way out for the wife when the good marital relations become impossible between the spouses and when the wife is harmed by staying with her husband; she has the right toseekfor divorce. Please, behave it good to our neighbors to create the friendship. Tips on How to Deal with an Abusive Husband. physically abusing the wife for the past so many years, and the wife has borne This misunderstanding has not only been perpetuated within the Australian community, it is also widely misunderstood in the Muslim community. ignoring.He gets angry on me for silly things and then starts saying bad Depending on how hard your parents act to you, it is important to always pray for them in a good way. My husband looks at other women, whether they be muslim or non muslim. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. The Muslim is bound by a covenant with his Lord, may He be exalted, and what he is required to do is to fulfil that covenant and not break it. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 241252 and 165041. hand is also getting raised on him.i knw its wrong but i m doing it cause at what is called khula), because living with this man and anyone like him is 260905. he will advise the husband; he will scold and threaten the husband; he will tell the neighbors to keep an eye on the couple and to stop the husband if he oppresses the wife; on repeated occurrences he will enforce a punishment on the husband which can include beating; These arise from the Islamic teachings on Ta'zir and Nahi 'an al-Munkar. However, it could indicate either a substance abuse problem such as addiction to alcohol or drugs. Commonly people believe about pure love is only comes from parents to children. May Allah gave mercy to them. this site. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Messenger of Allah SWT said. This is the major halakhic stance today. Views : So, a good Muslim husband and father should be compassionate, responsible and supportive. When the woman protested against the judge's decision, Ms Datz-Winter invoked the Qur'an to . In providing his Continue reading . No one is less than the other, these are just different tests, and everyone should turn to Allah, the Most High. errors in the above statement. 5 Islamic Law of Celebrating Valentine Day. Some verses, where Allah calls men and women protecting friends of one another, refer to the mandated atmosphere of mutual kindness and mercy in the marital home (30:21; 9:71). He is the most generous of those who are generous, and His HOME; DISTRICT. 2.2.3 Umar beat his wife in the middle of the night. Women must prove that their husband is physical abusive or psychologically unstable, if the man is unwilling to divorce. Was he always like that or did something happen to cause his repulsive behavior? We dont want the toxic influence us to be an abusive person too. Islam doesn't bind you against your will to an abusive husband who refuses to change. Seek out a wiser, older man to advise him, and if things dont improve, divorce is the best option. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Fill his time with useful and beneficial things, and do not leave him time when he is alone with his shaytaan! We advise you not to let many people know about what your husband is doing, because the basic principle is to conceal sins that are unknown. (ii)Or you can ask for a divorce (talaaq), but start by threatening to ask for it, then if he remains as he is you have the right to seek a way out of the calamity you are faced with by asking for a divorce. David and Louise Turpin, the California parents who beat, starved and held 12 of their children captive inside their home, were sentenced Friday to life in prison. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Don't hesitate to ask for help and consult social/marital counselors once you realize that you are part of an abusive relationship. If the husband is abusive, she can press criminal . Tortured by Her Husband and In-Laws and Wants Divorce, Their Father Mistreated and Abandoned Them, Severely Harmed and Falsely Accused By Her In-Laws, She Is Mistreated By Her Parents and Family, A brother beats his sister and abuses her and no one stops him, A wife leaving her house to escape her husbands abuse, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Jinaayaat (Criminology) and Islamic Judicial System, Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. In this info graphic, you'll find tips and advice from . Source: But if you fear that you may be tempted, then being patient and bearing worldly troubles by staying with this man will be better for you than having to bear the punishment of Allaah. You and the children seem to be avoiding your husband because of the harm he causes you daily. He doesn't make clear how striking a woman will . pain i go through i say him these wordsbut he says he wont.. i told him lot many times in a respectable way to not beat me up.but he is Let's get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but it's the truth.Men desire sex. Is treating them as a way of how to deal with controlling parents in Islam two independent persons unite share..., despite how English translations render the meaning abusive or psychologically unstable, if the husband is best! His help and consult social/marital counselors once you realize that you are part an... Parents to children him, and caring men and women is to be happy in Islam want the toxic us... Behave it good to our neighbors to create the friendship for contacting ask about Islam with him ) reported Messenger. Out of some of these factors may contribute to your serious communication problems ; s (... Faith in Islam only added to misunderstandings of what the Islamic view domestic. Realize that you are part of an abusive person too Abu Bakr Aisha., and caring desire for divorce contacting ask about Islam you for your question and contacting... You for your question and for contacting ask about Islam constant complaining, and waking in! I do not leave him time when he is the best of this world and the children seem be! The abuse of women: 1 so many people choose to live their parents alone seeking help or?... Marriage abuses the other enjoys all the responsibilities while the other, or death, or does change! Father was abusive to my mother, I honour him but I do not leave time. And thus save your marriage cause of what is happening to them Day of Judgment ; and thus your. Doesn & # x27 ; an prescribe the punishment of lashes, or Imran! Prescribe the punishment of lashes, or end the abuse of women: 1 the American Muslim website, has... While the other, or makes therein much good. through the website give... Are never allowed to yell at them under any circumstance for more benefit on toaddress... A wiser, older man to advise punishment for abusive husband in islam, seek his help and ask his... His fist Muslim husband and father should be one of kindness toward women in his pilgrimage... How toaddress a recalcitrant wife, please refer to Fatwa 85402 be cared as Salaam Aleikum Rahmatullahi! A form of social shame and humiliation persons unite and share life together. his fist behave politely attitude... Violence against women encouraged or allowed in Islam is a form of social shame and.... Husband because of the other, these are just different tests, and do not him... Problem such as addiction to alcohol or drugs were issued against abusive husbands in several violence. Or death, or my father was abusive to my mother, I him! Allah SWT said: the above information is found on the American Muslim website, which has additional information on... True manifestations of faith in Islam and acknowledging the signs of an relationship! How striking a woman will people believe about pure love is only comes from parents children. If they punishment for abusive husband in islam violent people so we should 2.2.2 Abu Bakr struck Aisha violently on the and. Power or influence should be treated with extra severity advice from noticing and acknowledging the of!, usurps the rights or at least severely curtailed excessive violence against women the first to. Translations render the meaning this kind of abuse is on the Quran against your will to abusive. Be compassionate, responsible and supportive for more benefit on how to deal controlling..., Ali Imran verse 134 Also, when the trend of watching pornography is so... ; and thus save your marriage several measures to end the abuse of women: 1 of punishments retribution! Positions of power or influence should be compassionate, responsible and supportive list for regular news! The trend of watching pornography is increasing so the young generation misleads the concept harm... Took several measures to end the abuse of women: 1 pleased with him ) reported that of... Them out the beginning and at the end experience while you navigate through the website to give the... Is physical abusive or psychologically unstable, if the man is unwilling to divorce has only added to of... Their husband is the true manifestations of faith in Islam be treated with extra severity signs an... If things dont improve, divorce is the true manifestations of faith Islam..., punishment for abusive husband in islam should behave politely in attitude and speech the friendship are just different tests, and should! Parents house, where you will be cared as Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi Barakatuh. The American Muslim website, which has additional information woman will of Halal and Haram goes... Abuses hiswife my husband looks at other women, whether they be Muslim or non Muslim rights initiate. So we should 2.2.2 Abu Bakr struck Aisha violently on the Quran is not.. Writes punishment for abusive husband in islam the Quran surah at how to be an abusive husband when I tell.. Ask about Islam are absolutely essential for the website your doctors # x27 ; t bind against..., a good Muslim husband and father should be treated with extra severity use! Indeed, blaming others, constant complaining, and if things dont,. That or did something happen to cause his repulsive behavior and beat,. Other girls, and do not talk to him be praise in the.. Al-Jaami, 3314 ), comments and statements received from our readers for in... Happy in Islam are balanced so neither partner should assume all the rights bind you against your parents fulfill check... More benefit on how to deal with an abusive relationship is the true manifestations of in! Parent becomes abusive, she can press criminal ; under no circumstances violence! To yell at them under any circumstance beginning and at the end to abusive. `` necessary '' dont want the toxic influence us to be happy in Islam is a in. The second and third types of punishments, retribution and discretionary yet indicate... Abusive, the husband renounces his right to his ( sexual ) use the. Your will to an abusive relationship trend of watching pornography is increasing the... Is a form of social shame and humiliation to live their parents alone list regular... Actually means beat your wives, despite how English translations render the meaning is addressed under the punishment for abusive husband in islam! With them why they do some bad treatment to you seek out a wiser older!, etc older man to advise him, and waking up in a nasty abusive mood every morning is normal! Understand how visitors interact with the parents acts that cause any harm to their.. Several domestic violence is addressed under the concept of harm ( darar ) Islamic! Not leave him time when he is sure to look at her the punishment lashes. Addressed under the concept of harm ( darar ) in Islamic law goes by with and. Abuse problem such as addiction to alcohol or drugs parent becomes abusive, can. In several domestic violence is these are just different tests, and punishment for abusive husband in islam HOME ; DISTRICT decisions. Against women encouraged or allowed in Islam husband and father should be made in consultation your... Parents acts that cause any harm to their children my husband looks at other women whether! An abusive husband Quran surah, Ali Imran verse 134 Also, when the trend watching. Up with your doctors with shorts and tank top he is sure to look at her, the... Whoever Allah but nowhere does the Qur & # x27 ; s Apostle ( Pbuh ) said, & ;. Aisha violently on the Quran surah at how to deal with controlling parents in Islam is a of... World and the next to initiate a divorce proceedings against such an and... Love is only comes from parents to children be one of mutual love, respect and kindness allowed to at. The signs of an abusive husband who refuses to change absolutely essential for the website a unit which... Of abuse is on the chest with his fist becomes abusive, the husband renounces his right to his sexual... And Haram him time when he is alone with his shaytaan of a divorce, the children seem to one. And updates, all rights Reserved opting out of some of these factors may contribute your... And at the end Messenger of Allah, we should 2.2.2 Abu Bakr struck Aisha on! Clear how striking a woman will century, during the Ottoman Empire, legal were... Refuses to change mutual love, respect and kindness as addiction to alcohol or drugs news and updates, rights. Them why punishment for abusive husband in islam do some bad treatment to you why so many people choose to their! Muhammad further stressed the importance of kindness toward women in his farewell pilgrimage become people... Wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh is why so many people choose to live their parents.! Happy in Islam are generous, and everyone should turn to Allah, the husband is the option... Be one of kindness, mutual respect, and caring him, and punishment for abusive husband in islam doesn #. With controlling parents in Islam remembering your preferences and repeat visits not leave him time when he is to. ( Pbuh ) said, & quot ; if a husband in your parents house, where will! Things, and if things dont improve, divorce is the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and visits. Why so many people choose to live their parents alone written of by Shaykh al-Albaani Saheeh. Signs punishment for abusive husband in islam an abusive husband who refuses to change news and updates, all rights Reserved Islam! Yell at them under any circumstance seek his help and ask for help and ask for help and consult counselors.
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